Response to ?A Man. A Woman. Just Friends?? ? IGCSE English

Response to ?A Man.? A Woman. Just Friends??

The essay ?A Man. A Woman. Just Friends?? was written by William Deresiewicz, and was published in April 7, 2012. It talks about whether or not a relationship between two people of the opposite sex can ever be not sexual, and just be built on platonic love.? Although this is what is argued, he always comes around to the statement that sex always gets in the way.

Firstly what is platonic love? The dictionary states that Platonic love is a relationship that is intimate and affectionate, but is not sexual. Can an intimate and affectionate relationship be purely platonic? Or are we just kidding ourselves, as can a straight male and a straight female who are sexually active be able to nurture a relationship that never strays towards sex?

In the essay, at the beginning it comments about the movie ?When Harry met Sally?. I find this very interesting that he comments about this movie as it does in fact agree with the statement, but because it?s a movie, it also has a Hollywood spin on it, as in the end they figure out their feelings for each other, and ultimately have sex. Although this in theory is what happens in a relationship between a man and a woman, in truth this often doesn?t happen, as the relationship usually ends with the admitting of a member having feelings for the other. But forgetting this for the moment, what also make this movie an interesting choice is that ?Sally?, the female in the relationship, actually doesn?t relies the ?Harry? likes her until its too late and he has already admitted his feelings. This example is actually very common in the real world too as the female in the relationship doesn?t notice the hints and accidentally leads the man on until its too late and she?s broken his heart. Although this cant be said to be 100% true, but most relationships between males and females either end sexually or either end with the relationship concluding.

But stopping here, I just want to be able to clearly state what a platonic relationship contains as it creates an outline of what steps over the line.

A platonic relationship contains a relationship were:

• The members of the relationship spend leisure time together outside of work/school.
• The members of the relationship trust each other to the extent that they can talk to each other about secrets and private information.
• The members of the relationship share an emotional bond but do not think of the other in a sexual way.

And for the purpose of this essay, involves a male and a female. What is stated above is what I think is a platonic relationship, But the question in this essay is about the idea that a relationship between a man and a women can ever just friends. This idea is so until we consider if one of the members of the relationship is homosexual and therefore don?t have sexual attractions for the other.

This doesn?t change the fact that they are platonic friends as a relationship between a male and a female can still be platonic ever if one of them is gay; as does this break any of the points I made in the previous paragraph? For two people can still hangout with each other regardless if one of them is gay, and two people can still have a close and meaning full relationship with each other regardless if one of them is gay, and two people can still not be emotionally attracted to each other regardless if one of them is gay. So with the new wave of social acceptance and with more people accepting who they are, I wouldn?t be surprised if more and more truly platonic friendship appears away from Hollywood.

So can a man and a female be just friends, or does sex get in the way? I think it depends, as if a straight man and a straight women share a platonic relationship, it usually stray as the pressure of sex can interfere and make it complicated. But if the platonic relationship contains a male and a female and one of them is gay, I think it?s perfectly normal and possible that platonic relationships can exist. I not saying that platonic relationships don?t work if the members are straight and have the possibility of becoming attracted to each other, but its a lot more likely that they will not work as there is a 10% chance that a straight platonic relationship will work if the friends are straight.

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Source: http://ericmacknight.com/igcse/2012/10/response-to-a-man-a-woman-just-friends/

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